Some things have come up in my life the past month that have tested my faith. I’ve had to make one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever had to make, but it was something I had to do for God. At the time, I was in what felt like a very dark place. I felt like I was doing everything right, but God was just hiding his face from me. I would cry out to Him, wanting Him to show me something, to reveal Himself to me. The thing was, instead of giving me what I wanted so bad, He wanted me to give something to Him. I knew what He wanted me to do. I think I knew for a long time, but I didn’t want to have to do it. It would be so hard; it would hurt so bad. But I started thinking about it. How could I not do this one thing for God when He has done so much for me? He has forgiven me continually, He has loved me when I didn’t deserve it, He has blessed me with such an amazing life. How could I not do this one thing? I knew it would change my life completely, but isn’t that what God does? He asks for our entire selves, not for pieces. He won’t relent, until He has it all. He was asking for my full heart, and I knew I had to give it to Him. When I followed through with God’s request, I can’t tell you it was easy at first. I had given something up I had had for so long, something I was so used to. I knew so many things would change, but God had given me such a peace about the situation that I never felt regret. I felt sorrowful because I knew there would be relationships lost, but I was trusting in God’s judgement. He is all knowing, isn’t He? It amazed me how fast I felt better about everything. I never would have thought that I could move on from something like that in such a short amount of time. But I thank Him so much for that every day.
In the end, I feel that now I can truly give Him my all. Something I don’t know that I’ve ever felt. I feel like He has completely consumed my life ad He has filled me with a joy and a peace that I can’t even describe. Now, all I have to do is wait for Him to lead me where He wants me to go, and rejoice always, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in everything! (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18) I pray that God continually tests my faith, because I know it will only make it stronger.
Psalm 23:1, 3, 4, 6. “The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me. Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.”
Jeremiah 29:11-13. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.’”